Paris Hilton Swimsuit Pictures

Apparently Paris Hilton is in Rio de Janeiro doing lame promotional work for some sort of Brazilian beer that nobody has ever heard of or cares about. At least while she was there she decided to walk out onto her hotel room balcony for some sun in a little black bathing suit. I especially like that she’s pretending to drink the beer, what a great actress. She’s probably got cases of it stacked up in her room. Anyhow, you know the drill, Paris Hilton, bathing suit, boobies… Etc.

Heidi Montag: Future Porn Star?

After he convinced her get some bigger tits and a new face, I knew it was only a matter of time before Spencer McDouche would be pimping out his wife Heidi Montag for bachelor parties and holidays. Here she is dressed as a pornstar in a suite in Las Vegas, decorated by Fredrick’s of Hollywood, to celebrate Valentine’s Day. I wonder how long the line up of Asian business men is outside her door? Is there anything that’s not a photo-op for these two morons? In ten years when they’re nobodies again we’ll have pictures of Heidi Montag changing her tampon in a bathroom furnished by the good people at

Jessica Alba Is The Perfect Role Model

I know this Valentine’s Day garbage is going to be absolutely terrible, make a shitload of money, and somehow make women everywhere wish their boyfriends or husbands were more like some douche character in the movie. Well guess what, we all wish that you were more like Jessica Alba, not because we think she’s romantic or a good person, simply because she’s hot as f@#k and would like to do it to her in the shower when you’re not looking. Deal with it.

Emma Roberts Will You Be My Valentine?

Hopefully this will be the last post I do this week that has anything to do with Valentine’s Day the movie or the actual day. That being said, I wish cutie Emma Roberts was my valentine. Wouldn’t that be fun? We could spend the day in my jacuzzi tub drinking beers and telling each other how lucky I am to have her. I’ll even float some rose petals in the water to make it more romantic and to camouflage my massive boner. Obviously not real rose petals because I’m allergic and they’ll probably stain the tub, but it should have the same effect. Call me.

Alicia Keys Bikini Pictures

This is one of my favorite times of the year, the holidays have been over for a little while and hot celebrity chicks want to head somewhere warm and hang out in their bikinis. Here’s Alicia Keys showing off her curves in the sun the other day. I always thought she had a bigger ass than this. Maybe the camera angle is throwing me off, whatever it is, I kinda like it. Keep up the good work.

Jennifer Aniston Bikini Pictures

So Jennifer Aniston is still in Mexico celebrating her 41st birthday by hanging out in her bikini with friends. I for one am not complaining, I happen to like cougars in bikinis getting out of swimming pools, so she could spend the whole year there for all I care. I cropped out most of her friends because, well, they weren’t wearing bikinis. Oh, and of course Gerard Butler flew in to tap that sweet birthday bikini ass. If she likes foreigners with shitty accents, I’m Canadian which is close enough, maybe we can take a jacuzzi some time. Call me.

Rihanna Grabs Herself

I’m kinda disappointed in these pictures of Rihanna rehearsing in her dumpy outfit, at least I hope she’s rehearsing because if she isn’t she’s really mailing this one in. We hardly ever see her in her raggedy old clothing, she’s always wearing some sort of sexy futuristic dominatrix sh%t that both delights and confuses my genitals. And another thing, I know she’s trying to be edgy and dangerous, but in my experience when woman grabs her vagina in public it’s normally not a good sign.

Vanessa Hudgens Gets A Flat

Here’s Vanessa Hudgens looking sexy, sad and confused after her fancy car got a flat tire the other day. I bet she’s staring into that trunk thinking “I know Zac told me there was a spare tire in here somewhere but I just don’t see it”. Poor princess, that’s what mobile phones are for. I bet being a tow truck driver in and around Hollywood gets you a lot of tail. Maybe I’ll start my own mobile auto repair company for women only. I’ll drive around changing tires, explaining how to use the multi CD player and what exactly Bluetooth is. I’ll also bring a little asian woman with me so they can have their nails done while they wait. I think it’s got potential.

Reese Witherspoon Pumps It

has always been a little too wholesome for my taste, she needs to sex it up a bit. Here she is pumping the rear end of her big black…. Ugh, I can’t even make this sh%t sound dirty, she’s too good. She’s putting gas in her car! That’s it. Deal with it. She’s probably one her way to a church picnic with her kids or to read to blind old people. Hot!

Pamela Anderson Busts Out The Old Lady Funbags

I’m not posting these pictures of Pamela Anderson on her way to some party because I think she deserves to be on the site, I’m posting them purely for the big fat boobies. I’m sure most of you can appreciate where I’m coming from. They’re quite mesmerizing, I think they could probably get me to do pretty much anything right now… Except save Pamela’s career.

Sarah Harding Swimsuit Pictures

Earlier today I had pictures of Girls Aloud hottie Sarah Harding almost flashing her junk getting out of a car in a little skirt. I felt bad that I couldn’t deliver the goods so here are a few shots of her playing in the ocean in her sexy one piece swimsuit. It’s a little weird to say that a one piece can be hot, but I actually really like it. Especially the way it rides up in the front like a reverse wedgie. Hot! I like to spend my summer weekends at the water park sitting at the bottom of the steepest water slide with a few beers and a camera hidden in my trucker cap. Good wholesome fun.

Amanda Seyfried’s Breasts Are Worth Watching

Here’s Amanda Seyfried at the premiere of the movie Dear John last night. I have no idea what this movie is all about, but I hope it’s a big screen adaptation of the classic Judd Hirsch TV show of the same name. Anyhow, Amanda is showing off some nice cleavage so I had to post her. This girl needs to get a little more attention, she seems ’smart’ and ‘talented’. I think a movie about two promiscuous lesbian serial killers with Blake Lively is in order.

Fergie’s Impressive Lady Lumps

For an older woman Fergie’s still got herself a tight body and an impressive set of lady lumps. Here she is on the red carpet at the Grammy’s looking pretty f@#king stylish, unfortunately later she transforms into some sort of transsexual dominatrix with an attitude problem. Luckily for us her boobs managed to grow quite nicely in the transformation and she/he has got some very impressive cleavage. Enjoy.

Katy Perry’s Breasts Are Grammy Winners

It’s no secret that Katy Perry is one of the most annoying hipster dufus chicks around, but she’s definitely got herself some sweet front meat which is the only reason I keep putting her up on the site. If anything were to happen to those puppies she’d virtually disappear forever. Here she is they are looking plump and delicious, at some post Grammy party, stuffed nicely into a silver dress like two delicious baked potatoes ready to be buttered up and stuffed in your mouth. Now I’m just hungry.