Pixie Lott Needs To Get Back To Being Cute

This Pixie Lott chick needs to stop all the partying because she’s beginning to look a little worn out. She looks good in her little leather skirt, but she’s not the cute girl she once was and she’s only like eighteen years old. She’s supposed to wait until she’s at least thirty before she starts looking haggard and, between puff of her smokes, asking young dudes in a raspy voice if they like to party.

Christina Ricci Gets Banged Again

Well it’s about time Christina Ricci got some bangs to cover that five head. I’m not sure if that is a wig or not, but it’s better than before. Anyway, other than that there’s not much going on in these pictures besides the booty profile in those skinny jeans. Sorry, I’m grasping at straws here…

Anna Kournikova Is A Hot Mess

Here’s Anna Kournikova looking like a hot mess while out grocery shopping. Is she still dating that Spanish douche who covers his receding hairline with a hat all the time? I think she is because this is the type of clothing a girl in love wears. Fortunately, with years of experience I can undress her with my imagination. Try it, there’s an amazing body underneath all those layers…

Lindsay Lohan’s Sweet Profile

I’ve always liked Lindsay Lohan, even when she was pretending to be a lesbian I thought she would make a hot f@#king third baseman, so I like these pictures of her trying on a little short skirt the other day. It’s impressive how such a skinny chick can have such nice meaty chesticles and a sweet booty profile. I’m proud of her.

Britney Spears Bikini Pictures

Here’s Britney Spears in a bikini while vacationing in Mexico. Besides the hair and being crazy and all, her body looks pretty damn good. I guess extensive touring has done her well. Now if only I can get my girlfriend a record contract and booming sales, maybe I can get her on Britney’s fitness program. Unfortunately, she has no talent. I’m going to pay for that aren’t I?

Ashley Greene Bikini Photoshoot

I don’t know if these pictures of Ashley Greene in her bikini are old or new, but they’re pretty damn hot so who really gives a shit. This isn’t the first time we’ve seen the ‘Twilight’ star in her bikini, but these are much sexier. It would have been nicer if her white tops had been see through, but you can’t win them all. Besides, I think I see a nipple in the black and white shot. You’re welcome.

Kate Hudson Is Winter Hot

Here’s Kate Hudson and her mom out for a walk in Aspen the other day. Parts of her look pretty good, while others are covered in a silly fur coat. I thought celebrities had decided that fur was bad. I don’t give a sh%t either way, I’m just upset that she’s covering up her winter chesticles. That jacket could be made out of recycled Mediterranean women’s mustache hair for all I care, I’d still be pissed I can’t see her boobs.

Avril Lavigne At The Beach With A New Douche

Apparently it didn’t take long for Avril Lavigne to move on to some other douche after her marriage to that dude from the boy band completely fell apart. Here she is walking romantically on the beach somewhere with new guy. I don’t really care that she’s already found someone else, I just wish she would have given us a few bikini pictures first. Disappointing.

Sienna Miller Bikini Pictures

Here’s Sienna Miller in her bikini in Barbados the other day. Do I really need to say any more? Apparently she’s invited her ex Jude Law to go down and meet her for the holidays. Bad idea, getting back with your ex never works, especially when he barely has any hair left. The guy looks like he’s wearing Bruce WIllis’ toupee from Hudson Hawk. I’ve got more hair on my testes than that dude, why wasn’t I invited? Call me, I can be down there by the end of the day.

« Hollywood Tuna’s AmaTuna Moment – Sweet Booty Bikini Dance Cintia Dicker: Super Cute Redhead Model » Jessica Simpson Keeps Her ‘Gifts’ Under Wrap

I was hoping that as we got deeper into the holiday season Jessica Simpson might consider unwrapping herself as a sort of early Xmas gift for me. It doesn’t look like it’s going to happen this year. Here she is still covering up the goods while out in New York City the other night. This is the celebrity blogging equivalent of getting a lump of coal in your stocking. It’s almost as bad the time I got that mail order bride… Some things just shouldn’t be bought an wrapped months in advance.

Cameron Diaz’s Side Boob In Marie Claire

Having renewed my subscription to Marie Claire magazine, I find the articles fascinating, I noticed that Cameron Diaz decided to flash a little side-boob for me and I thought I would share it with the rest of the class. It’s not exactly the greatest side-boob but it will do in a pinch. When I was younger I always wanted to grow up to write about celebrity side-boobs. Mission accomplished.

Ashley Greene’s Cleavage Need Work

Here’s Ashley Greene at the premiere of Sherlock Holmes last night showing off as much cleavage as she possible can. I’m not impressed. Shave my chest and put me in that dress and I think I’d have more impressive cleavage. But I’m not a big vampire star so nobody needs to see that sh&t. Anyhow, I’d still get jiggy with it, do people still say that? It’s cold in my mom’s basement and I don’t have cable. I think it still works.

Lindsay Lohan Has The Runs

Times must be tough for Lindsay Lohan, here she is out last night in a pair of tattered leggings. Her legs look like they’ve been attacked by horny raccoons. Doesn’t she have her own line of leggings? If I find out she’s trying to sell this crap as a new style I’m going to be very disappointed. That’s like me having my own line of boxer shorts with holes in them and t-shirts with what I’m calling yoghurt stains on them.

More Lara Bingle Bikini Pictures

In case yesterday’s Lara Bingle bikini pictures weren’t enough, here are some more of this Australian hottie. Still not sure if she had work done on her upper stomach/lower shoulders region so hopefully one of you fine readers can provide me with some topless pictures for my personal collection. Thanks in advance.

Catherine Zeta-Jones ‘Talents’ Are Impressive

Here’s Catherine Zeta-Jones at some event somewhere, it doesn’t really matter, what matters is that she’s showing off an impressive pair of chesticles. I notice her crypt keeper husband is nowhere to be found, he must be off romancing his kidney stones in the bathroom somewhere. In any case, who knew Catherine was so “talented”? I thought she just did phone commercials.

Kate Beckinsale Was Made For Skinny Jeans

I make fun of hipster skinny jeans quite a bit, but it may just be that I wasn’t seeing them on the right chicks. Most of the time they’re stretched to their limit on some chick who has no business wearing anything with the word skinny in the name, but these pictures of super MILF Kate Beckinsale really show me what these jeans are all about. Now if she could reminded me the true meaning of the words tube top we’d be in business.

Fergie’s Plumber Cleavage Dress

Here’s Fergie at the premiere of Nine last night flashing some confusing cleavage in her little black dress. That half moon cut out section is throwing me off, It’s like watching a plumber fix the sink, I don’t know whether to look away or throw pencils at it. Anyhow, she looks alright for a Fergie, which isn’t saying much considering the verdict is still out on whether or not she’s got both male and female parts. In the mean time, enjoy.

Jessica Hart Wears Short Shorts

In case you haven’t figured it out just by looking at these pictures, Jessica Hart is a model. A model with amazing long skinny legs and messed up teeth which for some reason I find very hot. I think that’s because chicks with imperfections will actually date me. My mother keeps telling me I need to lower my standards so I’m taking her advice. Jessica call me. Don’t worry, I’ll never make you wear braces, I can’t afford them.

Hilary Duff Needs To Wear More Clothing

Hilary Duff continues her trend of wearing hot revealing little outfits, here she is in two t-shirts, a giant scarf and a jacket. My pants just got really loose all of a sudden. Can’t someone invite her to a premiere or some sort of event so that we can get a look at her in female clothing. She’s dressed like the guy who squeegees my windshield every morning. At least she’s wearing a tight pair of jeans and giving us a good look at her cute little ass. Squeegee guy always tells me to look on the bright side of things.

Pamela Anderson’s Boobs Come Out For Hugh

Pamela Anderson and her big fake boobies came out last night in support of Hugh Hefner. I don’t know what she’s supporting him for, maybe living as long as he has, but I’m glad she brought her big golden globes along with her. What did Hugh Hefner do before Viagra? I’m guessing stretch it out with a couple of popsicle sticks and some duct tape. That’s what I do when I’m drunk.

Lindsay Lohan Exposed!

These pictures from Muse Magazine, whatever that is, claim to be of Lindsay Lohan exposed. Unfortunately for us the only thing exposed is that dude’s bare ass in the second pic, which is completely uncalled for if you ask me. Luckily there are a couple of decent shots of Lindsay’s ass and cleavage, so it wasn’t a complete waste of my time. We all know what Lindsay’s junk looks like anyway so It’s nothing new.

Once Again, Jessica Simpson Disappoints

I’m getting a little pissed off at Jessica Simpson lately. Every time we see her now she’s covered up like an old rich lady. We all know she gained a couple of inches around her waist, hips and course those delicious chesticles. So before she goes back to the gym and works off her insecurities, she needs to let me enjoy my favorite set in Hollywood while they’re at their biggest. Consider it an early Christmas present for me…

Mariah Carey’s Fat Cleavage For Unicef

Here’s Mariah Carey at The 2009 Unicef Snowflake Ball. Knowing that Unicef is all about world hunger, I’m pretty sure Mariah and her fat boobies could feed a small 3rd world country. Not sure if silicon is toxic or not but if you’re starving I guess you’ve got to make do with what you get.

Jessica Simpson Disappoints

How could anyone not be disappointed with the pictures of Jessica Simpson out in NYC last night? She looks absolutely huge. Maybe it’s the camera angle, maybe it’s the outfit she happens to be wearing or maybe it’s the massive amounts of corn dogs and cheese doodles she’s been eating at all the f@#king country fairs she sang at this summer. Her agent needs to book her some “gigs” at a few fat farms or Jenny Craig conventions because this is getting out of hand. The button on her jacket looks like it’s holding on for dear life. Hang in there little guy.

avril Lavigne Does Something Other Than Annoy Me

It looks like Avril Lavigne is finally doing something other than being a washed up, divorced former teenage candy/punk rocker. Here she is filming some sort of commercial the other day. Good for her. Oh wait, it’s a Canadian commercial. Never mind. At least she didn’t go and do something stupid like ruin her body by having a baby. I just wish she’d grow out of this fake punk stage, she’s what thirty? Time to break out the slutty outfits, she’s a divorcee. Hot!

Heather Graham Because She Is Hot

Here’s Heather Graham leaving MTV studios. I don’t know what she’s promoting other than pure cougar hotness. I’m not sure if Heather is old enough to be considered a cougar, but that’s the angle I’m going with for this post, otherwise I got nothing … Except for the tightness forming in my pants, but you don’t want to know about that.

Miranda Kerr Ruins A See Through Moment

I always thought that supermodels were supposed to be free wheeling anything goes show your boobs at dinner parties kind of girls. Apparently I was wrong. Here’s Miranda Kerr covering up her chest plums on her way to something that none of us care about. Of all the people out there who I think would be comfortable not wearing a bra under a see through tank top, Miranda would be at the top of my list. Just ahead of Pamela Anderson and Perez Hilton.

Natalie Portman Needs To Cheer Up

Here’s Natalie Portman at IFP’s 19th Annual Gotham Independent Film Awards last night. I don’t know what her problem is, but she doesn’t look all that happy to be there or it’s just a bad picture. Who knows? This looks like the mug shot of a woman who’s been caught doing embarrassing things in a public restroom. Cheer up princess.