mena suvari: the new paris hilton

Here’s Mena Suvari showing off her strong legs while hosting a vodka party called ‘Absolut Saturday’ at AZURE over the weekend. It’s kind of sad that she went from young movie star with loads of potential to doing Paris Hilton type shit like this. Alright so maybe it’s not that sad, at least it’s a job, and the wind almost blew her dress up so it’s a win win situation. I know she’s in a bikini under there, might as well drop out of that thing and show us that phat ass. That’s right, p-h-a-t.

more pictures of Mena Suvari here

jennifer aniston gives us a view

Here’s Jennifer Aniston on the set of her new movie ‘The Bounty’ getting arrested by that Cro-Magnon actor who’s name I can’t remember. Seriously, I bet he lives in a nice cave in the Hollywood hills with nice fur rugs and the latest in cave paintings. I’m sure the movie is going to be just as awful as all her other films but at least we’re getting a nice view down her top at some decent cleavage. Besides, Jennifer Aniston in handcuffs has been on top of my fantasy list for over a decade.

28 more pictures of Jennifer Aniston here

ashlee Simpson’s Got Cleavage

Here’s Ashlee Simpson at ‘the Melrose Place’ launch party the other night. She’s no Jessica but I have to say that her tits are looking pretty damn good, her sister must be rubbing off on her. Jesus there’s a sweet visual burned into my mind. I’m sure there’s a Saudi prince out there who would pay a shitload of money to see that. At least Ashlee would be working.

katy Perry’s Breasts Are About To Spill

These are some pictures of Kate Perry at the ‘V Festival 2009′ at Weston Park the other day. I don’t know what this festival is but if I had to guess I would say that V stands for vagina. Whatever it is her sweet hipster tits look like they’re about to fall out of her stupid outfit. She must have gotten a little too excited because her pink thing is starting to show. Get it? Not many people can appreciate a good dog boner joke.

Heidi Montag To “Perform’ At The Miss Universe Beauty Pageant

Donald Trump must be absolutely desperate because he’s hired Heidi Montag, of all people, to “perform’ at the Miss Universe Beauty Pageant this weekend. I guess if you like retards lip-singing then tune in. I’m disappointed in the Donald, if you’re going to hire Heidi for a performance you should make sure that it’s a small affair, maybe half a dozen friends of yours in a classy motel room with water pistols filled with baby oil not all over network television. You would think he’s learned his lesson by now.

Lindsay Lohan Flashes Some Sweet Boney Ass

If you like skinny pretend lesbian white chicks with a shitload of freckles, you’re going to love these pictures of Lindsay Lohan doing a little shopping. I like skinny girls, I think they’re hot in a hungry kind of way, so these profile pictures of Lindsay’s boney ass are working wonders for my ED. If those freckles could somehow join forces she’d have herself a sweet tan without having to use her silly self tanning cream. But until then I’d be glad to spend some time with her playing connect the dots.

Lindsay Lohan’s Short Shorts Disappoint

I’m normally a huge fan of short shorts, especially when they’re worn by a skinny hottie like Lindsay Lohan, but I’m just not feeling these. I was walking home earlier tonight and a cracked out homeless chick filled out her disgusting stained short shorts better than Lindsay. Not to mention that a little action would only cost me about thirteen dollars. I guess I shouldn’t complain, she could be wearing a USSR womens softball team uniform like a good pretend lesbian would. At least her sandals are hot.